Hello from Diane,
Yes, I'm still here. CPE was a lot more intense then I imagined--and I imagined it would be pretty intense. I have successfully completed it. Yeah!! I'm not going to apologize for being away so long; it really has been tough these past few months.
In January, I filled you in on the next step in the process. Ordination exams. Praise be to God, I passed them. Charles was probably more relieved than I was; it was not pretty getting prepared for them. I started having anxiety attacks on the 1st of January and they got more intense and more often as the exams got closer. Thank you all who prayed for me during that time, it really helped knowing that the burden was shared and I wasn't alone.
Now, I'm discussing the next step with my presbytery, which is the process to get approval to seek a call. In other words, look for a job as a pastor. See, I have to be cleared by my presbytery to talk to churches looking for a pastor before anybody will even look at me. The clincher is--the presbytery wants me to wait till I graduate to start. I promise, I didn't say any bad words. Waiting till I graduate would mean that I would move from seminary to someplace unknown, to look for a job. Then when I found one, move again. All of which could take months or years. Best case scenario in this is to have a call (job) lined up and move straight to it from seminary. Obviously, that can't happen if I cannot even start looking until I graduate. The good news is--the presbytery has granted me 4 months grace. Once I'm examined (again) and approved, then I can start looking 4 months before I graduate. Hopefully, the Holy Spirit can work a miracle because I'm not moving the kids again after we move from here. (Yes, that is the voice of obstinacy. I feel after these past three years, going on four, that the children have sacrificed enough. Not to mention I am anxious to get settled again.)
CPE was a good experience even if intense. I'm glad it is over. I don't mind being there for people in crises or supporting people in transition. I don't like it being a constant task. I feel drained emotionally from the overall experience. What made it even more challenging was: I was in crises myself during the second half. My dad and my grandmother both died within a week of each other in March. Dad was unexpected, but Grandma had just been placed in Hospice care. It was weird receiving a call from the family expecting bad news about one person and hearing news about someone else. Then Grandma died the same day we buried Dad; I was needed with my mother and could not be with my grandmother. She was not alone, though, my uncle and aunt were with her and she died peacefully. But those of you who know, I was very close to my grandmother and I wish I could have been there.
I'm looking forward to another summer off and will be catching up with myself, my kids, and my friends in different places. We'll be visiting Ohio over 4th of July with a stop in Charlotte coming back. I'll preach at Sardis on Sunday, August 8th. Of course, I'll be sewing up a storm too and reading books I don't have to read (but ones I want to read.)
The kids have been great. They are amazing. Both are straight A students and both are doing well in scouts. S finally completed his tenderfoot--he lacked the courage to ask the scout master for a conference, but he finally did it. He is very close to completing his next rank so it might be two really close together now that he isn't so intimidated. B is stepping away from scouts for a bit. The leadership in her troop was a bit odd and since I don't feel I have time to get involved right now, we decided (B, Charles, and myself) that it would be best if she tried something else. When she starts 4th grade in August, she'll be able to join 4-H for a change.
They both were very sad about their grandfather's death. Every now and again they will ask about the changes that are inevitable. B's first question was, "will Grandma still come to my birthday parties?" S has realized that Grandpa was his greatest encourager in scouting. I'm going to miss the little projects we saved for him when he came to visit. Now, there is no reason to save them and we have to do them. It was so much more fun to delegate them to Dad's entertainment.
Charles is still working at the Power Company and enjoys the fact that it is a local job. He's been looking at other opportunities, but there just isn't anything in Atlanta. Strange enough, a lot of the calls he receives for jobs are in Charlotte. He is being given some additional work that promises to keep him busy for a while longer after a couple of weeks of having nothing. We're hoping this contract (even with slim hours) will keep him employed until the end of the year. Then we can either look at a short term contract that he would need to commute to or lay low until we move. I'm sure he would prefer to lay low--but that makes for a real problem with income.
It is hard to believe that the group I entered seminary with graduated this May. I made some very close friends and I'll miss having them around this last year. Fortunately, they are only a phone call or e-mail away. After this past year, my final year should be fairly enjoyable. Just regular class work and reading--hopefully no drama and very little added stress.
Well, that's about it for now. Please keep us in your prayers as we recover from the last six months and prepare for the final leg of this journey.
Peace and Grace to you all,
Diane J